The 5 Secrets of a Strong Relationship

Sometimes, when we find ourselves falling for a certain person, we tend to ask this universal question: “Is it true love?” How can we finally know if it really is?

Most of us would fall into a rebound relationship, conquests from prospects to prospects hoping that each of us would finally find that ‘right person’. Sad to say, in every conquests we undertake we always fall into the delusion that “this guy is different among others” and end up getting ourselves hurt from that break-up; and repeating the cycle all over. Fitting a certain person into our lives when things just don’t work is a wrong idea. As individuals with respect in our self-worth, we should be aware of what we want in a relationship, including its secrets to a better one.

Based on personal experiences and advices of majority of my friend experts and professional ones, here are the secrets or qualities of a strong and for-keeps relationship.

We should be friends

IT’S A MUST! Although some are into blind dates for that desperate attempt for someone to have and hold, I strongly believe that couples should develop friendship first before taking into the next level. I mean, how can you love someone whom you don’t know that much? Aside from having friendship as your foundation in a strong relationship, it is best to get to know each other first than fooling yourselves in a “love-at-first-sight” idea. Love isn’t just attraction and looks can be very deceiving, so as first impressions—that’s why it is so important, however hard as it can be, to be good friends first before being lovers. Know his or her family background and his values and how these two characteristics can fit into your personality. In that way, and through the course of the years you have been together, you will finally thank yourself that you have known each other better before convincing yourselves in going steady. When both of you are finally certain that you really are now friends, then here comes the next level.

The act of acceptance

Being friends isn’t enough for a strong relationship. We should take in mind that true friendship is also an act of acceptance. Because both of you are individuals who has different personalities, then this next level might be a bit hard for you to adjust on each other. In this level, you will experience that you and your partner may have differences in some aspects either in hobbies, interests or way of living. Moreover, this second level is an important one, as your ‘feelings’ will be tested over the course of time. Adjustment may be too long and hard, but the rewards are satisfying. But we should take note that acceptance just comes out naturally, and we shouldn’t please each other if things just don’t work out. When you can say to yourself that you can HONESTLY accept his flaws, his upbringing, and his habits; then you have finally succeeded this level and comes another one.

Trust, and its importance

Another important part in a relationship is trust. I believe that when you have already adjusted on each other, trust just naturally comes, but it still depends on how much depth each one will pour out that trust. In this level, both of you will finally discover the depths of each one’s personality: the first heartbreak, sensitive family problems and other important things which defines one’s character and habits. Trust is not just confiding in each other, but in this way you will finally get to know one’s character; and then having a feeling of security towards each other. We should note that relationship in the first place is one important aspect in our lives, a feeling in which someone can accept us despite our natural flaws. Another thing why trust should be developed is because this will be your security in the challenges that will come your way. If you trust each other, then overcoming the tides that would come will be easier for both of you.

The value of RESPECT

After gaining friendship, acceptance and trust; comes another challenge, which is also very essential in a strong relationship: the value of respect. Discovering the depths of one’s character also means a challenge if you still can respect him or her despite his painful past, or unpleasant experience. Respect is also another word for ‘security’, for if you are certain that your partner respects you just the way you do, then it also means he would respect your self-worth, your character and the whole YOU. Gaining someone’s respect isn’t easy, especially if he couldn’t accept some aspects about you. However, this will also define how much he loves you, for if he can respect the whole you despite everything, that he’s definitely worthy for having you.

Along the way… LOVE develops.

Being friends with someone, accepting him, trusting him, respecting him doesn’t necessarily mean you’re sure enough to gain his love. It will still all depend on the beat of one’s heart—which one cannot define expect that person. However, you can have a hint by depending on some of your instincts, his efforts, his time, the depth of your friendship, how much he accepts, trusts and respects you. True love just comes out naturally in each other, and if you have successfully gained all the past levels before having this one, love will not be that hard to develop because you now know each other better, and you already have given him a part of yourself. But take note—it still depends on your chemistry and the beat of each other’s hearts. J


Here are just some of my beliefs in a strong relationship based on my personal experiences, friends’ advices and books that I’ve read; and who would believe that I haven’t yet found the right one? Just to share a piece of me, I’ve met most guys whom I thought deserves that much but sad to say, they haven’t stepped up to other levels. But for me, I would rather settle down being single and happy waiting for that right person rather imposing on myself a certain person just for the sake of having someone.

5 Ways on How to Face the Morning with Lots of Energy

I'm not a morning person. Really.

During schooldays, I would always have a hard time waking up early. Gosh. In the midst of the cold breeze of the dawn, I would rather curl up in bed than battle with the shivering cold of the waters in the bathroom just so to get to school.

At 4am, I should be taking my bath and at 5am, I should be leaving our house to get to school at 7am, the start of my first class. I do this everyday during school days.

I mean, in the ungodly hour of the morning, who wouldn't want to seize the comforts of your queen-sized bed and sleep like a log?

Unfortunately, this 'habit' isn't applicable to working people, and to living souls.

I highlighted living souls, because I believe living one's life to the fullest also means waking up early and battling with the temptations of sleeping. Certainly, sleeping has its perks, but we should know how to balance our responsibilities over our desires and fit ourselves in the situation. Remember, at some point in our lives, we have to adjust to circumstances just to make up with life's reality. Life is as it is. It has its pros and cons, and one way to overcome those cons is to feed our minds with valuable information and good mindset rather distract them with useless ideas.

And one thing to come up with this lesson is to have a better mindset in waking up each morning.

If you're working (say) 7-to-5 each day, waking up early just because you're obliged to isn't enough to face the day and live it to the fullest. Each day must be filled with energy and enthusiasm and it all starts by creating a good mindset first thing of the day.

How? Well, here are just some of the tips I've learned from my mentors and it really did work!

Remember: It only takes 21 days to make a habit, and once you've reach those days, your mind and body system will get used to it. All you need is a strong amount of discipline and motivation to get over your fantasy dreamland.

1. Pray

Start your day with a fifteen-minute prayer. Whether you're comfortable in praying solemnly in your bedroom or not, I believe we shouldn't concentrate on feelings on becoming closer to God. You see, it takes a lot of LOVE and effort to get into it, and remember that love is a verb and not a feeling. Get it? So, the best way to start each day is a prayer about what you would like your day to come out, ask Him for blessings this day, ask Him to be with you this day to guide you and end your prayer with a little verse from the Bible or some Bible teachings or any affirmative statements so that you will stick to it all throughout the day. Statements such as "Lord Jesus, I trust in you", or "Let me see You in each person that I see today" is just some of the examples.

2. Write on your journal

A journal isn't just a diary or folio of events that happened in your life. It is more of a book of life lessons which you have encountered while growing up. While it is not an obligation for you to write on it each day, I believe it helps me a lot in facing the day with optimism. Through writing in my journal, I get to see my goals for the day, I learn to relive the lessons learned, and the best part... I learn to be more appreciative in God's creation by writing down in my journal and thanking Him for another day, and for the trees, and for the flowers, etcetera. My journal is another prayer book, diary of events--significant things in my life. More than that, it stimulates my energy in facing the day more optimistacally.

3. Reread your dreams/goals

Reread your dreams. Every detail of it: from your life mission, daily dreams/goals, annual goals, dreams in family life, finance, career, lovelife and all aspects of your life. Dreams and goals are interchangeable and I believe that in every dream, you should have a goal in order for you to reach it. If you haven't have one, try to write them down so you can mull over your dreams where you will get your energy to face the day. Believe me, it really helps just as it also helped me.

4. Read an inspirational article

Whether a devotional or a chapter from the Bible, it's important to read a brief inspirational article for you to reflect on the day. More than the energy it gives you each morning, it feeds your mind with wisdom that will later be applied in your life. Making this a habit is essentially helpful, as it teaches and let us review lessons in life. Just an inspirational flash fiction will do. :-) Suggested reading is the compilation of 1000 inspirational stories (sorry, I forgot the author), I just borrowed it from my mom's officemate, I'll ask about it later.. :-)

5. Create an optimistic mindset

Reading thousands of inspirational books isn't enough if you haven't got the "optimism" in your mind. Definitely, happiness is in your state of mind and if you choose to be happy, you will definitely be. Despite life's difficulties, always look at the brighter side of life and learn to appreciate the beauty beyond life's imperfections. If you meditate on these things first thing in the morning, sooner you will go back to your bed full of satisfaction and joy. :-)

I do these things each morning, and when I started to make those a habit, I've learned to be more appreciative in life. It's your choice whether you'd follow my advices. But I hope you will. I would never want you to miss that opportunity in your life to grasp wisdom and have great disposition in life. :-)

That's all. God bless you all. I love you.

A life without purpose is a languid, drifting thing; Every day we ought to review our purpose, saying to ourselves: This day let me make a sound beginning, for what we have hitherto done is naught!-- Thomas A. Kempis

Waking up in a dream

There’s something wonderful about waking up this morning…

I don’t know. Maybe because I woke up early, and I won’t be battling with the sun’s scorching heat that sifts through my window.

I got out of my bed at 7:30, went straight into the comfort room and head right into my desktop to pull the words out of my tongue. And in a wee second, I recall my dream… Something I’ve been dreaming (or praying) for a year now since I’ve learned to realized I was having so much fun without knowing my limitations beyond those responsibilities in college life.

I was with my friends at our graduation day, and we were overwhelmed with joy knowing that each of us have finally made it (without anyone being left one) despite all the hardships and sacrifices in our four years of pursuit. What’s still vivid in my flights of fancy are the tears and smiles on our faces, especially that toga everyone is wearing proudly.

And then I suddenly woke up to reality…

As seconds passes, I started to remember immediately that being with my true friends on my graduation day will forever remain on my fantasy. In the past years of my college life, I’ve been sleeping so much with conceived dreams, without giving birth to them. I had so much fun way back then, but never did I thought about my future. Each day is living it up to the fullest without thinking of the coming days. And boy, never did I ask myself, “what’s next after graduation?”

When I finally learned that I would not be graduating on time, I came to realize all the wasted time and efforts, of sacrifices that turned to nothing. Sooner, I learned to accept the consequences of my actions that I should’ve done my best in everything even though not knowing my desired course. Maybe God didn’t give me the gift of foresight just so I would fight for my dream against all the shackles and boundaries.

The rays of the sunlight that spilled through my face woke me up this morning with another day and another hope. This morning is unusual unlike all the other. God woke me up this morning with a thought… “Face this day by putting your dreams into action”.

“The best way to reach your dreams is to wake up”

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